If one day, i get a chance to wish for something, i wouldnt wish for you anymore. I wouldnt wish for you to come back to me, and love me the way i loved you. But instead, i would wish to throw away all the feelings in me id ever had for you. Loving you was my biggest mistake and my deepest regret. And for all you did to me, i could only wish you turn into a complete stranger to me, and never step into my life ever again. And to erase all your traces and the people related to you in my life. For the number of smiles i had, thinking about you, is just too small infront of the times iv cried for you so hard. But love is a beautiful feeling, isnt it? Indeed it was, until it became to something i ll never want to feel again. Your name still echoes in my ear, your name still hits my heart and rips it apart. All because, i loved you, a bit too much. A bit too much than myself. And now i wish i would never remember anyone like you from now, and not even flinch on hearing your name around! I love you tooo much, and this is what i wish i never do anymore. I wish i stop loving you anymore!
You broke my heart into million of pieces, but youre yet there in every piece of it. I flipped every piece, in a hope that i would find one having no finger print of yours, so i could take it home and feed it with love. But, i could find none. You were there everywhere, i could feel that pain every second. You would stab my heart, and i would bleed through my eyes. Yet, i spoke never but once to you about my pain, thought you would pick up my broken pieces and put them together. Instead, you left them unnoticed, and they broken even more. Your reflection was in every bit of it, pain was everywhere. Yet, i cant tell you, that i only hate you. For this hatred did come, but this love never left. But i promise you one thing, that once this love would walk away, i would never welcome it ever again.
Life is an ugly truth.We live our life day by day, loving people and being loved by them, until some stranger comes and screws up our life. That stranger, whom we just met, starts to have so much of control over us that we forget all the love we’ve ever had and ever got. It might not just be of the opposite gender but just anyone actually. The impact they have on us is pretty much alot that we are unable to control our feelings towards them. Their presence gives us so much of delight and their absence makes us so lonely. The ones we’ve been loving for so long suddenly become less important to us than that stranger whom we barely know. Our sight keeps falling on them and decides to just not leave. All we wish is to just spend all our time only with them. We try to do things as much as possible for them, and treasure their happiness. Unknowingly, we start chasing them and keeps our hopes high. But, its not always the same with them. They might be someone very special for us, but for them we might be just like any other person. And the more we try to chase them, the more they slip away. And that, hits us too bad. We start to change. They change us! We more often become rebellious and start blaming them for not understanding what we’re doing for them. Eventually, we lose them. We lose them though we never really had them at the first place. And this loss, sometimes, is just too painful to bear.
Its said, these are angel from god sent to us, to give us a blessing, and we just have our trust on them and never send them back. But Its also said, that they will always be temporary ones, who would soon go away after blessing us. But here the question is, how could we trust them when they give us so much of pain? And why do we get attached to them so much when one day they will eventually leave? These are angels who leave scars and vanish away.
Maybe thats why we’ve been warned from our childhood, to not talk to strangers, and get along with them.
“tell me what you really feel”, they say
All i could answer was,”i dont know”
All i knew, i was just sad, just broken
Knowing that now, i ought to be happy
They come and tell me,”i love you so much”
All i wanted to ask is,”for how long”
For i knew there wasnt an answer for this question
Love fades, feelings go, people leave, tears greet
They say,”you look good with a smile on your face”
All i could do was, just smile back
Never did they ask,”whats really behind that lovely smile”
Never did they know what really was
And when they say,”we ll never leave”
All i could do is, just count days
Itseems im just too used to this game
That without a particular reason, i just like being sad
And when they say,”im here for you”
All i wanted to ask was,”really?”
“You ll leave me later, im pretty sure”
Little did they agree with this too
And im here, just hoping for a bit of happiness
For i know, i really deserve now
And now i can freely move out, away from “them”
For now i can say with a lovely smile,”i can survive alone”.
I agree to hurt but i can’t kill myself
With the deep cuts and scars, im still breathing
I did once find comfort in the darkness within me
Now that darkness is all over, just consuming me
Im broken, shattered, scared. but its all just inside
Getting supresssed, the feelings just dont go away
The cuts, the scars are yet too deep
But the pain doesnt seem to lessen, doesnt seem to heal
And so i know i gotta rest in the dark
Until i get a way straight to the sky
Im not that strong, i cant kill myself
Could you just do it for me, please?
With the sky changing its colour and each day pass by
Each bit of mine gets consumed by the devils inside
Where my feet once rested upon,slowly decends
And i go deep in, that dark den
Pushing away the crowd, that once sorrounded me
I find comfort in the silence of my depression
Once did the tears roll out along my cheeks
Now stay inside, living each day
Did the close ones once know who i was
Now i just remain a mystery, to myself
Struggled to get out, but it wasnt enough for me
With comfort,i could find happiness in the dark
And when my heart cried, searching a hand
Just then it realised, the depth was too much
And wen i tried to find the mystery of myself
Then did i realise i dont exist anymore
Its often that when we realize we’re a bit photogenic, we insist on showing it to the world, or least half of it. We surely cannot resist it from DPing it on whatsapp. And if people appreciate it enough then why not get some likes and comments on it by DPing it on facebook too.?! We are the online generation. The generation where the number of likes on a picture is a parameter to judge how cool or smart the person is. We do not really click pictures for memories, but for showing people we lived that moment, even though we really didnt for we were very busy ‘clicking’ the moment. Sometimes it becomes a task to decide which picture to DP on whatsapp or facebook, we spend hours asking people to decide, and later giving them credits for ‘choosing it’. Finding an “inspirational” caption or a status is also no less than a task. And then giving them credits for that, too, is being so generous! We are the generation where we express our sadness by removing our dp and status from whatsapp, or deactivating facebook! They say, we only live once! But we have proven that wrong! We live two lives, one with nature, and other obviously on the internet. But yet, its still nice to keep a DP n status and yet changing it often. So lets just enjoy it and make fun of the ones who do the same!