‘Cause I see him in your eyes

And then I realized, that every time I looked at you, that every time you made me smile, and that, every time when I think of how much I love you, I could see him. I could see him in you, in everything you do, in every smile you give. For When I look into your eyes, I realize, I used to look at him the same way, with the same love. It scares me that you resemble so much of him, and that, he resembles so much of you. Only because it made me realize how deep IV fallen for you, for I’d fallen for him in the same way. You make me smile how he used to, you make me laugh just how he used to. And I? I love you so much, maybe just how much I used to. And then I remember how it all ended, and how it broke me, and it hits me that you might leave me the same way how he did. I see your faults, as I did his too, and like before, I reminded myself again, that no ones perfect, but for me, you are. And for every time i look at you, it reminds me of him, which makes me fall for you a little harder, and push you away a little farer. For I think, history is repeating  itself but this time I’m not ready to get broken again

I just know nothing anymore

And when you looked at me with your eyes full of love for me, I looked into them feeling unbearable pain. Not because you didn’t love me enough, but because of the fact that every time I saw the love in your eyes for me, it reminded me of the pain you’d given me with it. I agree you still love me enough to make me happy at times, but just not enough to heal the wounds you’ve kept gifting me till now. Its hurts too much, not just to see you love me, but for me to love you back not being sure if its real or not. It hurts when you do little things for me at times, for you do that every time I decide to walk away. You pull me back then push me away, like I’m just a toy you can have according to your needs. I don’t wanna live in this world with you, nor I wanna live here without you. You’re all I ever needed, yet you’re all I wish I could just live without. I don’t want you, but just someone like you, to start a new beginning with. Its hard to tell you goodbye, its even harder to remember why we had ever told each other a hi. You’ve loved me so much and I grew up for better. You hurt me so much that I fell for the worse. I don’t know what I have in for you, all i just know is I’m just numb. Too numb now that if you would even shoot a bullet right through my heart, I would just feel nothing!

Nothing left but to kill myself

I left home saying I would be back soon. I’m sorry mom, I lied to you. I’m going, and I’ll never return back. You’ll never know why I did this, you would only regret why i didn’t cross the road carefully. But don’t worry mom, no one else would know too. No one would know that one stranger had touched your daughter that bad that she couldn’t accept herself anymore. I’m sorry mom, I couldn’t tell you this. How could I? With what words could I even tell you all that happened? I’m sorry mom for not being able to speak out. For I know you could never bear this pain, and dad too would never forgive himself for not being there this while. That man, he touched me too hard mom, and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t shout or scream, I couldn’t do anything. He hurt me mom, he hurt me too much. And when he left, I was shattered. Shattered into  pieces, lying on the floor. I was in pain mom, but I could just do nothing. And that’s why I came home too late that day, and went to sleep so early. But I swear mom, I didn’t sleep. I didn’t sleep whole night, I was scared. Scared that he might come back. But I promise, no one knows about it. I would never want any person to look down to you or dad, I never told anyone anything. But I’m just not able to forget that mom, I can see scars all over me. Scars of his touch, it haunts me mom. I’m sorry. Please take care of yourselves. I love you both.

R.I.P Bestfriend

Dear best friend,
You can hear me, right? Where are you? Where did you just go away all of a sudden? To god, didn’t you? You went therr, and you’re still there having no plans of coming back. It’s just been a while since you closed your eyes in front of me, but I feel you’re gone long back. Aren’t you too early to go? I thought you would keep your promise, that we would grow up together and be best friends till our 90s and let people know that friendship is the best thing on  earth. Well, you broke your promise, and you’re not allowed to do that. So come back right now. Please? You’re absence is killing me inside. I’m scared. Whom would I go to now, when I’ll be the happiest or saddest person on earth? Whom will I tell about that bitch to, whom I hate the most? You’ve made me alone now. The pain you’ve given me is just so bad and I’m just not able to take it anymore. Why did you just leave? Just, why? I haven’t stopped crying yet. I’m still next to your dead face, I know you’ll open your eyes. And when you see me crying so bad, I know you would hate yourself for this. Come on, please, come back. I need your back at every moment in my life. I feel so lonely, like I have no friends in my life anymore. It’s like you were my savior, and now I’m left all alone with the devils around me. Was it important to go? Couldn’t you just stay for some more time! I’ll have no one to call my best friend now. I have just lost someone I could never afford to lose. I feel homeless now.
You’re still there with me,right? You’ve not left, right? Please, just stay. I would always remember the lines you’d said, that you’re always  beside, just sometimes unseen, but always near. And I hope you can hear me say this, I love you, okay? I would look up at you every night, do look at me back and never say goodbye. Take care and … Come back if possible. I love you

You’re killing me

I didn’t mean to care for you so much
I didn’t know i’d been a person as such

Never thought you’d be so important to me

Never knew i’d still feel so lonely

Should’ve known your care would’nt last for long

I know i’m here for you, but i don’t belong

You should’nt have promised to always be there

Should’nt have told that you too care

You’re not the first one who stopped to care

You’re not the first person to break the swear

I should’ve stepped back at first itself

From the pain, i would’ve saved myself

I wont try anymore, cuz you’ll never care again

After holding on so tight, i’m still in pain

I wont hold on more, you’re free to leave

Like always, i’m used to that grieve

I know the fact, i can never hate you

But i’ll try one thing, i’ll stop loving you

I’d promised to stay, but it hurts so badly

I wish you’d known, this loneliness had already killed me

Your loss

I’d asked if you would stay, and you said “forever”Never did i know, your stay wouldnt make it good for me

You said you cared, but never said it’ll last

I just assumed it would, i agree it is my fault

You say youre still there for me

Can i ask you to tell the truth?

For i thought being alone would make me feel good

The truth is, being away just from you will make me feel good

For i know it truly, you dont care

And deep inside, you do agree with that

And if you leave, i promise not to ask you the reason

Nor question you for hurting me so bad

For i can feel now, its your loss not mine

You lost a true person, i just never had one

Namma bengaluru

Capital of Karnataka, the hearts of multitude
South Eastern of its state, you could see its own route

Not just bangalore, its the garden city, too

As beautiful as an hillstation, it has its own view

Many research institutions and colleges has its land

Bangalore’s education is itself like a classy brand

The weather conditions here has its own mood

That every season here seems to just get fooled

Its the food here that is loved, by all the crowd

All the non foodies here are just not allowed

The more fried, the tastier it seems to be

Thats just a reason why bangalore is just so lazy

So many brands, its all famous for its collection

A place surely to visit, bangalore is one of the selection

For everything here seems to be just so pretty

This is what, is our bangalore city