Love? Love is a beautiful feeling. A feeling of being safe, falling in the arms of care. Its beautiful when your partner or your friend loves you a lot. That love only starts to hurt when they start, not to hate you, but to fall out of love with you. No reasons, no explanations, no warnings at all. They fall out of that love, and you are trying to hold them tight. It’s human nature to expect in return what you give, and to expect it to be consistent to you. But what happens when someone falls out of love with you? What do you want to do, and what do you have to do? When you’re used to someone’s love, and when you just stop getting it, you build a craving inside you. Craving of that particular love, and only in the way it was given before. You crave for it, but you still don’t get it. And then your cravings increase. These cravings make you go mad. They frustrate you. You crave for something you might not really ever get it back. Your mind goes unstable, and then soon you’ve made your life go upside down, seeking for that love in the same person, and in every other person. But then, you go to that person itself, the person whose made you go through this, to heal you. And then you realise that when you life was falling apart, not a leaf moved in their world. They were calm, they were happy in their life, as though they’d cared about you never before. A passerby of life would’ve asked you what’s wrong, expecting a real Calamity’s occurrence. And that’s when you realize for what a petty reason you’ve messed up your whole life. Thats when you know how harmful a person could ever be. You might not get that person back. Your life would’ve changed forever. You might even become your own enemy. For what? Because the person you loved fell out of love with you, that’s it. And then, fear of love begins within you.
Come to me, fall in love with me. Not for years, not for ever, just now, just for today. Tell me your name, ask me for mine, and we shall fall in love, for once. Tell me I’m beautiful, tell me I’m your angel, make me feel like I’m the most loved one on earth. Hold me tight, hug me soft. Kiss my forehead, and tell me that you care. I promise to give it all back, but don’t let me love you. Tell me that the day is yours to love me, that I could love you some other day. Tell me all that I’ve ever wanted to hear from someone. Make me feel what I’ve always wanted to be felt. Listen to what I’ve got to tell, listen to what I’ve never been able to tell. Love me for once, from sun to moon. Then leave before the next sunrise, leave how you were, just a stranger. I will keep your name in my words, I’ll keep your face in my eyes. For you will remembered, like a stranger who could love me for once.
We’re all just chained. Chained to one another. Chained to those heartbreakers whom we love. Chained to our two selves, Our mind and our heart! Have you ever told your friend to leave their partners, or to leave their friends, if they’re so hurt by them? Have you ever wondered why they take burden of heartbreaks from the one they’re supposed to “not love”? Surely, have you ever wondered about yourself? About why you take so much pain, Why you let anyone break you, Why do you not leave anyone whose hurt you ever? Just one answer, but thousands of meanings. Love? Could be, maybe. Should be? Would be. At the end of everything, you just realize one thing, whether you actually accept it or not. We’re all just chained, Prisoners of emotions. You’re hurt by them because you love them. But what can you do? You can’t leave, simply because you just love them. Stupidity, is it? Seems. We’re humans, we’re caged. And the cage is nothing but our own people, the people we care for. We’re mere puppets stringed to emotions, chained to our heavy hearts and our messy minds. Is there any answer to this? Break free the chains? Would you be ready to break your chains if those chains are the only way you could give and get love? Yet, its still the only way you give and get hurt too, isn’t it? Im the end, fortunately or not, we’re just humans. We’re caged, we’re chained. We’re nothing but criminals of love
“For once I’d thought I’d got someone just the way I wanted. Just the way I want a man to be, for me and for himself. Yes, him. He was like an umbrella in the heavy rain. A warm blanket in winter. He was just what I wanted, and when I wanted. He was that perfect. The one who wasn’t afraid to express his feeling. Who wasn’t afraid to show me how much he cares. The one who was just afraid of one thing, and that was, of losing me. He was that perfect to me, that it felt like he’s just one among the all, made all for me. He would never get angry of the times I ask him if he’s okay, even if he was already. He accepted me completely the way I am, and understood me how I’ve wanted someone to understand me. I wasn’t afraid to lose him, I never thought about losing him at all. He loved me so much that the thought of losing him seemed something just impossible to happen. And after I met him, I was no more afraid of rain, and of the winter. He was my umbrella, my blanket. I felt so safe, so protected, and so loved with him.”
I fell silence, and my smile faded.
“Where is he now?”, she asked.
“One day it rained heavily and it was cold. I couldn’t find my umbrella, my blanket, and suddenly I didn’t feel safe anymore. I tried and tried, I couldn’t find him again. All at once, he was gone. It stopped raining after some days, the warmth came along. But that didn’t matter, because I didn’t feel homely anymore after he’d gone. And then, the rains had came back, winter was back too, but i was still finding my umbrella, and my blanket. And till now, I haven’t found it yet. I’m still searching, I’m still finding.”
Its dangerous, its scary, how all of a sudden you’re knocked out of someone’s life. No warnings, no time, suddenly you’re just kicked out of their life and you’ve no idea why. And that’s when all the pain sweeps within you, eating you up alive, killing you that for once you feel like not living anymore. You feel like not being alive anymore, but what for? For that someone, who meant nearly the world to you, but kicked you down so hard that you’re unable to pick yourself up anymore? For that someone who couldn’t even leave you saying just a simple goodbye? That damn someone whom you’re gonna think about, your whole life, wondering what went wrong, wondering what mistake did you commit?! Ignoring someone is just good until you’re the one ignoring. But if you’re the one getting ignored, its like the worst phase ever in your life. How can someone just kick off someone else, out of nothing, whom they used to love until yesterday.?! Now I understand why people are so scared of attachments. People just wake up with different feelings everyday. And unfortunately if you love them, you gotta wake up every morning with a fear in heart about what’s gonna be their feel today. You pass your days wondering what went wrong. And in this course you build up a hatred for yourself for doing something that’s made them leave you, even if you’ve no idea what you did in the first place. This world’s just a scary world to live in, if you’re one emotional person. Attachments are even scarier, dynamic, and much painful. You know very well that that particular person could control you easily, but in the end, you even know you can’t do anything about it. I’ve just one request, do not kick anyone out of your life out of nothing at all, or they might not hate you but hate themselves for sure. And if you’re that someone who does that, you’re one asshole in this world. There’s no better word for you
What about the non apologizers?
The ones who couldn’t afford to ask forgiveness?
Who stood there with all intentions to hurt
Maybe with hell of guilt, yet not a sorry
What about them, to let in or let go?
Their actions were true, but so was their guilt?
What if these non apologizers feel
Its just not worth a sorry?
Our self respect is what they walk over
Or our feels which seem worthless
Or what if they think that maybe
Maybe sorry isn’t a necessity
But of everything we could ever feel
We feel for them, a gem to in our life
But if they can’t afford a sorry, a simplest one
Should they afford a part of us?
And after sometime, you’ll turn back and leave. She’ll come to pick you up. You won’t think for a second about me, about my situation, about my life. You’ll get up and leave. I’d met you on your journey of life, when you halted, waiting for your other half to return, said she’ll come back soon. And I saw you there, knowing very well you’ve halted for just a while, not for life. But damn, I fell in love. Fell in love with you. So hard, so deep. So intensely in love, that my heart ached in the thought of your departure. How I wish i could see you for all the time I have in life. How I wish the time stops ticking, the universe pauses, just so I could get just some time more to love you. But who knew the Lord’s plan. After all this, I would fall in love with a passerby.