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Best friend.

She’s not the whole world to me,

But she’s surely someone I can’t live without.

She isn’t the only one resting in my heart,

But she lives in the deepest part of it.

Its like a sort of unconditional acceptance,

With a warm and homely familiarism.

Romanticising our friendship better than love,

She’s my girl, the one known as my best friend.

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Understand. Really?

Its funny, that people tell you that its only you in the end who is responsible for you self happiness and sadness, and everything that you ever feel. Yet people still tell you to stop blaming things on yourself for the things happening to you, for there are some morons alive in this world responsible for it. Its really funny, but you won’t feel like laughing at it. Because for something to be funny, you first need to understand it. And this thing cannot be understood. If someone hurts you, its them who are at fault, not you. But then, you are the one suffering for things you didn’t do? Well, you did something. You gave them the power to hurt you, you gave them that much place in your heart that they were capable of hurting you. Wait, what? Come on, who knew they would turn around and hurt you? But come on, how did you believe they wouldn’t? Funny, right? Laugh, not because you’ve understood what exactly the issue is, but because you really don’t know how to get out of it.

Know your self

If you stand there, hoping to see a change in a person, or a situation, you are most likely to get disappointed. Just because you want someone to behave in a certain way, which you have reasons to feel it right, doesn’t mean they will or have to behave that way. You wouldn’t change according to them always either, so why them? No matter how right you are or how wrong they are, if you keep your hopes or happiness in the hands of others, they will surely drop it some day. Its your happiness, you have to look after it. They won’t look after it the same way always. Don’t depend on other’s, their actions or reactions, for your emotions. Don’t make anyone dictate that for you.

Its a tendency to expect more than accept. Its like breaking your heart by your own self. But then, why would you wanna break your own heart?

Don’t wait for an apology, or an appreciation. Not receiving one won’t make you less deserving of it. 

Know yourself better, than anyone coming and making you believe things about yourself which aren’t true. Live for your own beautiful self. Look after yourself.

Are you busy?

Take your degrees, 

Your assignments, your homeworks,

Take all you have that kept you so busy.

Show it to them when they’re feeling really sad,

Or when they’re just about to kill themselves.

Because if you think that’s more important to you,

Than the person being sad there,

Then it would be very stupid of them not to understand

That of course, you didn’t be with them because you didn’t have time.

You didn’t go to see them, when they called you for it.

You didn’t go to see them, because you were just so busy.

So busy with your wonderful life,

That you had no time to look for them?

But you slept soundly, woke up happily and lived the whole day joyfully,

Even with knowing the fact that all they want is to meet you for their betterment.

What should they infer from this, that you care but are so busy to not show it?

Or that, you just really don’t care anymore to make time?

Dear Best friend.

And when the reality comes knocking at your door

Please do not look away, or shut it back

Open the door, let it sink in

Know that its not a dream which you’d be wishing it to be
Know that your best friend was once there, until then

Know that I did not run away from anything

No, I wasn’t a coward, really

Know that I really tried to be the strongest version of myself
When you feel the warm air embracing you from the open door

Know its me coming to you, afterlife

Apologising to you, for leaving without saying a goodbye

Coming to you, to say that I really love you
But not to.worry, I’ll be there around

You won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be around

So what if I’m no more, I will still stand on the promise we made

To be best friends and love each other for life and after

Why did you leave?

When you left, you know, it didn’t feel like a part of me was walking away from me. It felt like I was walking away from myself, telling myself that until you don’t come back to me, I can’t come back to myself.

When you left, it was like the world had crushed down. Something was sucking out my soul of out my body, making me feel completely dead inside.

And now, its been a while you left, but this pain you’ve given me just doesn’t seem to leave. You are all I needed ever. Your abandonment was like getting stabbed by a million knives, all at once. And I’m still bleeding.

Today is one of those days, where I feel the emptiness fill in me, consuming me bit by bit. Today is one of those days, where I will drink as much as I can take in, until I can see you without you being there, and tell you that I’ve been missing you so much, and then I shall feel your arms around me while I fall asleep.

Abrupt endings.

Some people will leave, and never come back. Everything will be different from then, but somehow everything would seem okay some day. Some people fall apart only to come together stronger. But some people, some people fall apart, and get broken. That’s it. They never come back. Things somehow just end, day by day, until one day you know its ended, but you won’t know when exactly it ended. It just ended, somehow. They might come back to you, but they really haven’t come back to you. That’s when you know things are never gonna be the same, when you can’t feel their presence, in their presence. Some people leave, that’s just how it is. One day you might love them to life, and the next morning you might lose them in a moment. And that moment, that moment of loss, is like a sword passing right through your bare chest, slowly with perfection making you taste every little bit of pain. And when they leave, the create voids in your heart, very deep and very painful. And most of it, they’re irreplaceable. It can only be refilled by the same people who created them, and that’s why they’re just left empty. You don’t realize how many holes they’ve created until you fall into them. And when people leave, you don’t want to replace them ever. You never wanna give the same kind of love to someone else, you never ever want someone that close to you, but them again. But that’s just how it is. Some people leave, and they really never come back. They’ll just be loved forever, silently, quietly, and unknowingly.