Why did you leave?

When you left, you know, it didn’t feel like a part of me was walking away from me. It felt like I was walking away from myself, telling myself that until you don’t come back to me, I can’t come back to myself.

When you left, it was like the world had crushed down. Something was sucking out my soul of out my body, making me feel completely dead inside.

And now, its been a while you left, but this pain you’ve given me just doesn’t seem to leave. You are all I needed ever. Your abandonment was like getting stabbed by a million knives, all at once. And I’m still bleeding.

Today is one of those days, where I feel the emptiness fill in me, consuming me bit by bit. Today is one of those days, where I will drink as much as I can take in, until I can see you without you being there, and tell you that I’ve been missing you so much, and then I shall feel your arms around me while I fall asleep.

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Abrupt endings.

Some people will leave, and never come back. Everything will be different from then, but somehow everything would seem okay some day. Some people fall apart only to come together stronger. But some people, some people fall apart, and get broken. That’s it. They never come back. Things somehow just end, day by day, until one day you know its ended, but you won’t know when exactly it ended. It just ended, somehow. They might come back to you, but they really haven’t come back to you. That’s when you know things are never gonna be the same, when you can’t feel their presence, in their presence. Some people leave, that’s just how it is. One day you might love them to life, and the next morning you might lose them in a moment. And that moment, that moment of loss, is like a sword passing right through your bare chest, slowly with perfection making you taste every little bit of pain. And when they leave, the create voids in your heart, very deep and very painful. And most of it, they’re irreplaceable. It can only be refilled by the same people who created them, and that’s why they’re just left empty. You don’t realize how many holes they’ve created until you fall into them. And when people leave, you don’t want to replace them ever. You never wanna give the same kind of love to someone else, you never ever want someone that close to you, but them again. But that’s just how it is. Some people leave, and they really never come back. They’ll just be loved forever, silently, quietly, and unknowingly.

Succumb

The rain touches the ground, as though it was so desperate

The fog hugs it around, a blurred world to create

The sky looks heavy, at its most grey

As though the sky too wants to just get away
I hear people’s feet splashing the water

As they run to find themselves a shelter

How I’d wish I could find one too

To protect me from the life I’m going through
Its all a chaos, a blurred world all around

With horns and splashes and all sorts of the sound

Just like how my mind feels everyday

A mess through which there doesn’t seem a way
But I stand there, amidst the running beings

Taking in the chaos, the sounds and the splashings

I feel calm, for I know what’s happening

I feel calm, for I know what’s coming
I look at the streets, I walk in alone

The street I’ve for so long known

I close my eyes before the car ringing its horn

With blankness and blackness, I’m now forever gone

Asleep.

As the night fell over, and the clouds turned darker,

The city lights went off like every other night. 

The world remained silent and shut in it’s body,

While she successfully escaped from her owned body.
The world was quiet, in calmness and peace

Oblivious to every act of her’s that night 

Little did anyone know, when the world would wake up

When the sun would come to greet, her eyes would remain still and shut
That night her soul gazed the world with it’s own vision

As the blood rushed out of her body, her soul walked out tranquilly

A place she wanted to escape slowly turned into the world itself

The world that now she’d finally escaped
The world now was in peace, ultimate peace

Until next morning, when the dead would unveil

This night would pass, with heavy darkness in the air

For the infinities knew this, she would wake up never again

Let go? Not always.

I think the whole concept of “letting go” has been taught wrong, or has been mistaken and misunderstood by all of us. We’ve been taught to let go of things more than to hold on to them. We practice letting go so often that we have merely nothing to hold on to. Its said, let go if it hurts. Its true, of course. If it hurts you too much, you need to move on. But not everything that hurts should be left behind. How or else could you admire a rose so close without getting yourself hurt by its thorns? The thorns does not make the rose any less beautiful. But the thorns are a part of the rose, and that’s just how we humans are. We all are beautiful, yet we all have something quite hurtful. You don’t have to let go of your friend, just because she did something that could be forgiven sooner or later in life. You don’t have to let go of your partner if they chose to do something that makes them happy but not you. Its alright to get hurt by your close ones sometimes. That only proves that they matter to you, and that you care. Otherwise they couldn’t have hurt you at all, if they didn’t matter. But again, that doesn’t make them bad or against you. Sometimes some things just happen. 

Yes, letting go is a part of life. Somethings have to be left behind. Letting go is truly courageous. But holding on to something or someone is uniquely special. You need to be strong to let go. You need to be stronger to hold on to things, get through the storm, and come out with a greater bond. Because when you hold on to things, they hold on to you back, and that feeling is something really beautiful.

Surely, let go if you really want to. But hold on, maybe just one more time.

Maybe.

I see people, I see faces

Of people around me, and of people around the people around me

I see, I hear, I imagine their life

And all I see is that they know they’re living their life.

They know themselves,

They know they their own’s

They’re happy with who they are

And happy with whom they are.

I see their pride, their confidence

I see how much they take care of their selves

They’re them, all belonging to their own selves,

They show it to the world, and I am able to see that

It makes me sad, but maybe gives a hope, too

That I’m not living with myself, but someday I will

Maybe like them, I’ll be myself, and I’ll be happy with it

Maybe someday, I will too make peace with myself.

All About You.

And yet again today,

I put down my pen,

Without writing a word,

Leaving the paper as it was,

Entitled as YOU,

With empty lines below.
And yet again today,

I got no lines,

I got no words,

That could describe you as finely,

Just as lovely you are.
And yet again today,

I catch myself falling in love, Seeing your face on those empty lines,

Watching my eyes fall in love with yours,

All over again.
And yet as always,

Without writing a word,

I feel satisfied as ever,

Feeling every bit of your presence with me,

On the paper, within me, in this scented air,

Just whispering to you, that I’m so in love with you.